As I locked the sliding
doors during my closing shift at the gym, I let out a long breathe. There was
only one word to describe the feeling that was overcoming me- pure exhaustion.
I thought back to that morning when at yet another job I has opened the doors
at 4:25am...and here I was at 9:15 pm doing the same thing. It had been a long,
long day. And I knew that the next morning I would have to be up and at my
third job by 7:00. But the reason I bring up all of these times and different
job locations is not to complain or to brag about how much work I was doing.
But more so to be blatant about what hit me as I walked to my car. I had taken
on too much.
There is such a delicate
balance in life when it comes to the amount of things that you have time for.
And the amount of things you have the energy for before it takes too much out
of you. I have never been good at gauging my energy meter.
In high school I was very
involved in school and with sports. But thankfully my work was not incredibly
challenging so I was given an idea that I could in fact do it all. When I got
to college I found myself surrounded with a million new things to try and even
more people to meet. I quickly applied to many different organizations and got
involved in numerous things on campus. The spring of my sophomore year I
realized I had not gauged my abilities well. I was involved with two major
organizations, working at our Recreation and Wellness center, conducting a
small group, training to be an Orientation Leader that summer, AND trying to
juggle classes (the whole reason I was in college in the first place). I was
constantly running around, packing my bag early in the morning with everything
I would need for the day, knowing I would not be back until late that evening.
I was planning every single minute of my day, and was forced to cram study
times in late at night. Needless to say I was not succeeding and it took my
parents hitting me with the harsh truth that made me realize- I could not do it
all.
The rest of college was
better, but I was still constantly busy. I would never have survived without
the support of my friends and family and my trusty daily planner. After I
graduated and moved home for my year between graduate school I was given
something I had not had in a long time. Free time. But me being me, I couldn't
just appreciate that. I got another job and spent time going out with friends
when I was off. Around December (upon realizing that graduate school is
expenzssiive) I decided that I had time for another job. I applied to two
places in hopes that I could pick up a few extra shifts. As life would have it
in January I was granted both positions and decided that I could in fact take
on both roles.
I figured out a way to
schedule in all of my three jobs and meet all of the training they required.
Now I sit here with three jobs and a lot to do before I move. I am currently
working seven days a week and still trying to find time to make doctors
appointments and hang out with friends and family. There is no way around it- I
am in the exact same place I was in three years ago. Stretched too thin.
This post is starting to
sound a little complainy again so I will not get to the point that I wanted to
get across by telling you all of this. It is okay to not be able to do
everything. It does not show weakness to admit that you can not do it all.
Yes, there are going to
be times when you are busy, that is part of life. But you do have the power to
control being overwhelmed and stress -ridden all of the time. Most of the time
it is just at matter of having a real conversation with yourself and saying
"What can I actually handle." I have found that when you are doing
too many things you have a tendency not to be able to accomplish everything to
the best of you ability. So my reason for this post is to say- find you
balance. Find a couple things that you truly enjoy and stick with them. Give
them your all. And do not be afraid to give yourself breaks. Rest (in terms of
sleeping and just relaxing) is a requirement for you to work at the peak of
your abilities. Giving yourself time throughout the day to regroup or a couple
hours at night to watch your favorite show or read a book. Down time is
essential.
To be the best version of
yourself you have to honest with yourself. And as lame as it sounds you have to
be able to give yourself some "you" time. Trust me, I am learning
this more and more every day.
-ICF
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